I just received word from Nicci; she's OK... still don't know when she will return, but she's OK.
Sounds like an obsession? Maybe; I -did- open this blog initially to vent my pent up feelings, and once she's back and my anxiety subsides I'll use this blog for other things.
Another funny thing is that I'm writing in english, whereas my native idiom is spanish...
Tuesday, November 20, 2001
OK, I feel much, much better.
Kendo practice helped a lot; not only was I left too tired to think of anything else than my aching muscles, but also the act of whacking at another guy with a bamboo sword, and being whacked in equal (or greater) measure, helped my mind focus a bit. I had a lot of fun, since actually it was my first time in actual combat, no drills, no kata.
And also, my sensei said something when I told him about Nicci: "that which is yours nothing can ever take away."
I returned home with an easier mind, and a good thing too, because a few hours later, Nicci's sister, Jessi, contacted me; she had a nightmare and wanted someone who'd understand to talk with. I'm eternally grateful to her for the simple fact that she keeps Nicci's cell phone under her pillow... that phone was my only link to Nicci when she was in barracks, gods bless ICQ2000+ and its capabilities to send/receive messages with cell phones. Nicci left that phone to her sister so that I could receive any news from her as fast as possible.
Kendo practice helped a lot; not only was I left too tired to think of anything else than my aching muscles, but also the act of whacking at another guy with a bamboo sword, and being whacked in equal (or greater) measure, helped my mind focus a bit. I had a lot of fun, since actually it was my first time in actual combat, no drills, no kata.
And also, my sensei said something when I told him about Nicci: "that which is yours nothing can ever take away."
I returned home with an easier mind, and a good thing too, because a few hours later, Nicci's sister, Jessi, contacted me; she had a nightmare and wanted someone who'd understand to talk with. I'm eternally grateful to her for the simple fact that she keeps Nicci's cell phone under her pillow... that phone was my only link to Nicci when she was in barracks, gods bless ICQ2000+ and its capabilities to send/receive messages with cell phones. Nicci left that phone to her sister so that I could receive any news from her as fast as possible.
Monday, November 19, 2001
This is a test.
A friend advised me to set up a blog, though I had been thinking about it for a while.
Tonight I just had to, I needed a venue to vent the hollowness I'm feeling right now.
Nicci is a german paratrooper, and she also happens to be my girlfriend. THanks to this idiotic war of the U.S. against international sovereignity, she has been called to the field. Which field? I have no idea. She wasn't allowed to tell me, nor her family. She wasn't even allowed to say goodbye.
In a few minutes I will leave for my kendo practice. Last week, at this same hour, I was saying goodbye to her over ICQ, joking and wishing that we'd have more time together during the weekend. At this time that I get ready, I see her ICQ contact in the red, glaring at me, reminding me that she's risking her life, and that I don't have the fucking smallest idea as to where, when or how.
I've had a couple of successes today. I just sent the contract to write my first book for the d20 System. I've been progressing greatly in my kendo skills... but everything feels empty, since she's not here for me to share these joys with her.
And just now, when pouring these words in this thing that won't be public for some weeks yet, I'm shedding the first tears of sheer anguish; I miss her. Shit, I haven't even heard her voice and I miss her like I'd miss my right arm.
I'll go now; I'll take some refuge in the physical and mental discipline of martial arts, and I'll pray that she returns safely.
A friend advised me to set up a blog, though I had been thinking about it for a while.
Tonight I just had to, I needed a venue to vent the hollowness I'm feeling right now.
Nicci is a german paratrooper, and she also happens to be my girlfriend. THanks to this idiotic war of the U.S. against international sovereignity, she has been called to the field. Which field? I have no idea. She wasn't allowed to tell me, nor her family. She wasn't even allowed to say goodbye.
In a few minutes I will leave for my kendo practice. Last week, at this same hour, I was saying goodbye to her over ICQ, joking and wishing that we'd have more time together during the weekend. At this time that I get ready, I see her ICQ contact in the red, glaring at me, reminding me that she's risking her life, and that I don't have the fucking smallest idea as to where, when or how.
I've had a couple of successes today. I just sent the contract to write my first book for the d20 System. I've been progressing greatly in my kendo skills... but everything feels empty, since she's not here for me to share these joys with her.
And just now, when pouring these words in this thing that won't be public for some weeks yet, I'm shedding the first tears of sheer anguish; I miss her. Shit, I haven't even heard her voice and I miss her like I'd miss my right arm.
I'll go now; I'll take some refuge in the physical and mental discipline of martial arts, and I'll pray that she returns safely.
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